Ponder-Worthies

Hi Everyone,

Today I got an e mail from Alec, a friend of mine. He is real interesting and he has a very unusual job... dispute resolution. Pretty much what he does is help people argue better and get it over with faster... at least thats how I see it. I guess thats a good thing but for me the argument is usually the point if it! I mean one of the GREAT things about being female and pretty is that you can be wrong and no one disagrees with you but they ALL want to talk to you! I just love it.

I try not to abuse the situation too much...

OK so here are some of Alec's ponderings.
I'm sure we can talk about them during the FreeTeleConferencing.com chat/RANTS

Since light travels faster than sound, does that explain why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? I know about 100 people this pertains to.

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Dawna O. are you reading this? Does it hurt your brain?

Why do the weathermen always say, "Let's take a look at your forecast . . ." Why? Do I have a proprietary interest in it? I alway have known it was MY forecast... I know the weatherman!

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? I have been thinking about that since I was 5!

People look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is, even though they are not wearing a watch. My question: Why are you asking someone without a watch what time it is? Well... if you are hot I'll ask just to meet you... who cares about the watch...unless you're that anonymous girl, she's looking for the ROLEX!

The light went out, but where to? My grandma used to ask me that.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Hey I use a normal keyboard, not a qwerty one.

Fact: The universe is everything. Fact: Scientists say that the universe is expanding. Question: What is it expanding into? OK OK, I remember asking the Hindu guy about the same kinda thing... just what are the elephants standing on???

Why, when two airplanes almost collide, do they call it a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? So how far away does it have to be to be a far miss???

Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Ever try to get past the desk to the interior? They won't let you in!

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? Is this question from you Dawna O.?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Just how OLD are you Alec?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? How come the soap still tastes like soap if it has REAL lemons?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Who owns suits?

Sooner or later, EVERYONE stops smoking. Don't you know it.

Hey everyone how do you feel if I have various other people do the RANT/chat if I can't... How does Thursday nights at 10PM sound?? For about an hour unless it gets really juicy... we could talk for 6 hours!!

Fake Wedding Ring Test

What a Witch!
the wedding ring test
How nice to start something on a LIE!

Thats just great as if guys don't think we are cynical enough! Bet you tell everyone you meet a bogus name and phone number too, huh Anonomous!

My cousin was one of these bitches. She was so vain she wore her Grandmothers wedding set when she went out with the same intention. "If he won't try to date a woman with a ring he's got no guts." You know the "C" word... I don't like it but it is for her... and YOU. Cuz got a man alright, a rich one too. He has gobs of confidence, don't get any on ya. She is in his "schedule". If she's not in the calendar he just doesn't have the time. He tells her to just go shopping or don't you have something to do with the kids, it's your job to raise them, I pay the bills. He has the confidence to do that, too!

Hope she is happy.

By the way...THANK YOU Suzi for showing me

FreeTeleConferencing.com

I'm going to use them for my weekly rant! I called the customer service number because I did not really believe that it was FREE. I guess it is since what they told me was that I already pay for the service in my current plan. In fact over 95% of plans already include the cost in them. YOUR phone company just does not want you to know how to do it yourself, WITHOUT WAITING! You see YOUR pphone company wants to charge for conferencing and have you pay about $70- to $99- just to have the service there ready to use. Then they want to have you WAIT for an operator to connect everyone.

Another pain in the ASS!
I think this is one of those Million Dollar nickels, I don't think I'll even feel it going in!

I just wanted to go to the 99 cent store!

Just what is up with these people who try to squeeze past you on the right in an unmarked lane?

It's unmarked for a reason dickhead, IT'S NOT A LANE! I'm GIRL and I KNOW THAT!

I just left to get some bananas at the 99 cent store cuz my friend Darla (see I said your name!) told me that they had a fresh batch that were not green. I'm driving down Washington where the street is nice and wide, there are spaces and meters, as I pass the last space and start to turn into the driveway this cocksucker cuts around in the space just barely enough to fit, wedging his car between mine and the curb.

Just how urgently does anyone need to get to the 99 cent store anyway. I thought I was I real trouble. His Porsche was real fucked up. My Nissan was just scratched a little. Cops, insurance info and lookiloos. Another pain in the ASS.

BUT another chance to learn a nickel at a time! Isn't I nice how stuff just ties in together... I'm gunna get rich at this.

Turns out mister porsche WAS TOTALLY AT FAULT! Seems you can't pass on the right in California. So dickless gets to fix his car,my car and pay for my rental that I won't be in any hurry to return.

So while I whining about drivers and the 99 cent store, the bananas were great by the way, thanks Darla, how about those parking lot waiters. You know those people in the Hummers and Rovers who wait in the middle of the lane in the parking lot until a space next to the handicap one opens up, blocking everyone else. What are they doing at the 99 cent store ANYWAY??? Go to Gelsons down the street and get your personal shopping assistant! And what is a 99 cent store doing 2 blocks from a Gelsons anyway? I'm surprised they don't get some petition to have it shut down and moved to a "more appropriate neighborhood"! Anyway I walked up to the Hummer with a napkin and a pen and made the roll down window thing with my finger. They rolled it down and I explained to them that I just wanted their signature cuz they must be someone famous blocking all these 99 cent shoppers and stuff.

The 400 pound person just looked at me like I had just farted or something and rolled up the window.

My neck kinda hurts now that I think about it... hmmm.

I've been trying to be QUIET DAMN IT!

Hi EVERYONE!

My name is Spunky Bairnsdale. I didn't pick it... I think my parents were stoned when they did. They did lots of things that were stupid that eventually helped me later in life. Learning some things is a REAL pain in the ASS!

I'm still learning shit... its still a pain in the ass. Sometimes a MILLION dollar pain shoved up there a nickle at a time. I think I have about 35 cents jingling in there right now. It's OK I'm used to it.

This BLOG is going to be some of my self imposed therapy I'm shoving UP you, if YOU care to read it. Facts, NEWS, points of view... feelings... and I want participation damn it, ... I mean PLEASE.

Not that I matter to any of YOU but I am even going to use a conferencing service to do a weekly RANT or something... so we can all get it out live over the phone anonymously. SEE I do care and I do want to learn and help and grow and YOU can help.

If you know of a good service to use please tell me... it seems that there are lots of FREE ones out there. Yeah FREE MY ASS... I know just how that shit ALWAYS ends up working. Give them a credit card for verification and they say they are just going to charge a penny and 2 months later ALL your accounts are closed and some towelhead has drained all your accounts to some group in Dufar and bought granades to make a nice pretty vest for his sister to show off in an orphanage for diseased children and blow her skinny, so ugly she has to cover her face, ass up.

I can't help it... my therapist calls it an imagination.

Or maybe they just say they want my email. How in the world is that going to help them? NOTHING is FREE! What good is it going do them to SPAM me 10,000 emails a day. I'm not going to buy their shit, I'm looking for FREE.